This past weekend I went into one of my moods again. The one where I am just completely heart broken and don’t understand why is it so easy for most people to not care? And I don’t understand why do I care beyond reasoning? I guess I wouldn’t even be questioning my emotions if others weren’t so quick to point out how I worry too much or how I need to just chill or relax.
I wish I could find someone who would share my emotions of fear for someone, wanting to comfort them and reach out in some way to create a positive impact on someone’s life. I don’t understand why when talking to complete strangers or reading someone’s blog who is going through tough times and fighting to keep their head up, I have this immediate impulse to reach out and see if there is anything I can do to help them figure it all out. That feeling just drives me insane! And if I am stupid enough to share it with someone I get the typical “There are millions of people dying everywhere how many can I save?” I really wish I could ask those people how did you learn to no care? To close your eyes and walk away. Sleep at night and not thinking about that stranger who seemed distraught and you just walked by without asking if everything is okay? But I don’t cause the more I question them the more awkward I feel cause their numbers just keep growing and I don’t find anyone who seems to share the turmoil that I feel when put through such a situation. With me I guess it just adds up overtime and then I spill over and I will spend that evening just crying and question my husband how can people be so cruel? why isn’t someone else’s pain bothering anyone?
People are so quick to judge. So quick to speak the negative, to ruin someone’s day. But when it comes to positive? They will just stare blankly and think its best to keep quite. Many a times I have caught people around me bringing others down by telling them something doesnt look right on them or they did something wrong but they chose to get the feeling of bitterness and kept their mouth shut when something looked great on someone or someone did a great job. I wish there was a filter where people could check off negative comments coming out of their mouth and multiply the positive ones by ten. I have started living by the rule that if I am staring or thinking about a positive thought about someone for longer than 10 seconds that means I am moved by it so I am going to verbalize it. The smile they give me after I finish my compliment makes my day. They are happy someone noticed and I am happy that they are happy!
Why can’t more people be like that? Why do I feel if I continue doing this people that are mean around me will learn by example? Why is it that I don’t learn to just let it all go…or is it because I don’t want to change because I feel more people should be this way and despite my agony and despair, what I am doing is what needs to be done!
The only reason I came up with is a lot of times when I see people that feel alone, depressed, sad, attacked and I can put countless hurtful words here, I can relate to them. Although I don’t advertise it but I used to be them at one point growing up. I know how it feels when you ache for something and hence I want to be that something that they are missing. But sadly I guess if you have lived that life you either turn into someone like me or someone who hurts others just like they got hurt….but I really wish there were more positive outcomes of tragic life situations than negative ones…
Can we not all just get along? Learn to watch our comments to others? Can we not all just reach out to a stranger who needs a helping hand? Can we not just all learn to love everyone equally? To not bully and to not poke fun at. Can we not just ignore the differences? Charity done in the form of money shouldn’t be the only thing that should help you sleep better at night or clicking numerous likes on a facebook post or picture for a cause! You shouldn’t care about recognition or an award that someone will say you donated such and such for the cause or got a badge of honor. You should live for the smiles, the happiness, the satisfaction and looks of content you give you people around you! Whether you will see them everyday or maybe never again! Atleast that person will remember you and it will always bring positivity to their day when life seems dull and grey!
So ask yourself why is it or why isn’t it so easy for you? And just give being positive a try for a day that is all I ask! Hopefully you would love the satisfaction of knowing you made me smile with your effort 🙂